The Season I Learned to Let Go of Perfectionism

There was a season in my life when perfectionism ran the show all day every day. I measured my worth by how polished everything looked, how flawlessly I performed, and how neatly I could package up my messy, real life. If I couldn’t do it perfectly, I’d often avoid doing it at all…or die trying.

But striving for perfect came with a cost. It left me exhausted, anxious, irritable and never satisfied. Even on the days when I checked every box, I still felt behind. It was a hamster wheel I couldn’t get off of.

Then came a season when life didn’t leave me a choice. Things were messy, relationships were slipping, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t keep all the plates spinning. I was having panic attacks left and right, I was depressed and self-conscious about it. I was burned out. I was constantly yelling at my kids, ready to leave my husband, felt spiritually disconnected, and constantly making mistakes at work. I wasn’t happy.

Then I realized that maybe this season wasn’t a failure. Maybe it was an invitation.

What I Learned About Perfectionism

Perfectionism pretends to protect us. It whispers that if we can just get everything “right,” we’ll feel safe, loved, and enough. But in reality, it’s a thief. It steals our joy, our creativity, and our presence in the moment.

Letting go of perfectionism didn’t mean lowering my standards or not caring. It meant learning to:

• Choose progress over perfect. Done really is better than perfect.

• See mistakes as growth. Failure isn’t the end. It’s data for the next step.

• Find beauty in the mess. Life doesn’t have to be tidy to be meaningful.

• Give myself grace. Because I would never demand perfection from a friend, so why from myself? (Which began my journey towards self-compassion, but that’s another blog for another day!)

The Freedom That Followed

When I let go of perfectionism, I found space to breathe. My creativity bloomed again. My relationships deepened because I could show up as my real self, not a polished version of me. And I discovered that imperfect action often leads to more joy, more connection, and more growth than perfection ever could. Now don’t get me wrong…I’m a recovering perfectionist. There are still days where I go back to my perfectionistic ways. But now I’m able to pause, see what I’m doing, look deep inside to see what it really is that I’m feeling, slow down and show myself grace instead.

A Gentle Reminder

Friend, if you’re holding yourself to impossible standards, I see you. It’s heavy. You’re not alone. And you don’t have to carry it forever. Letting go of perfectionism is like opening a window in a stuffy room. You’ll feel fresh air rush in.

Your worth isn’t in how flawless you are. It’s in how faithfully you show up, messy and real. And that is more than enough.